Farewell to thee...

As I watched the plane destined for Delhi took off in the morning sun with the soft breeze caressing my face, my heart was filled with mixed emotions - on one hand, it is a sad parting of a father figure I never had. On the other, he is embracing a whole world of oppurtunities for the betterment of his family. As they say, "Great things await a great man" :)

So please allow me to pay tribute to a man who guides me, inspires me and above all, teaches me the true meaning of being human. A father figure who took good care of me at work, who always have the time to lend me his listening ear, teaches me the meaning of patience and understanding. A man who shows me different perspectives in any situation, who teaches me to see the big picture. The workplace won't be the same without him... I wish his family and him well and hope that our path will cross one day as my heart and mind refuse to say Good bye...

We will often find compensation if we think more of what life has given us and less about what life has taken away - William Barclay

Getting To Know U & Me

My sis-in-law seems like the sister I never had. Was pleasantly surprised that we hit it off the moment we went out on our first 'sister bonding' outing last Sunday. I truly empathise the state she is in - a foreigner in a foreign land, away from home and missing her family just after 2 weeks being apart; with a husband who promised to quit smoking before marriage but... we'll see when Ramadhan beckons... so stay tuned! - I dun envy to be in her shoes although I wonder how married life would be for me.

Right now, I am determined to put grams back to his old good self. The good news is the doctor's is prescribing less steroids considering that his blood test result came back positive, Alhamdulillah! With me working during the day and rushing home to try and do as many household chores at gram's as possible, I really pull my hats off to those working mothers who are truly professionals - juggling work, family and some even excelling in a part time course (SUPERB!).

Throughout my time at gram's, I 'see' more of grandma and grandpas' personality. There was one incident that really touched my heart, it was a simple act of love, but huge impact nonetheless (as you can see I am a 'sucker', ha!). I reached home and grandpa put up a mirror near the dressing table in the room I am staying. I immediately noticed it and told him how delighted I was. Bear in mind, grams is a man of few words and for him to see the delight in my eyes, he was silently pleased. He said, "Didn't know you would noticed it" ...

On another occasion, grandma takes the time to make breakfast for me every morning. Otherwise, she will buy from the block next door. As you can see, they do not have to do so but just the thought that they are trying to make my stay there as comfy as possible, makes me feel appreciated.

Throughout the week, I do take the time to call my sis, Anisah, to see how she is getting on and sometimes I sense the 'loneliness' in her voice and she misses me and yearns for my company back home. Soon, Insya Allah... I miss my cat too :(

"Adoption"

Was it a case of a joyous occasion turned 'bad' or is there a reason for the way things turned out the way it did? I prefer to think the latter. I learnt alot about the 'unconditional love' and the 'spirit of the mind' throughout the ordeal I went through with my family the past 2 weeks.

My elder brother got married on 26 August with a nice lady from Trengganu, Malaysia. Grandad was the 'best man' for the groom or in the case of the Malay tradition, the groom's lead representative. Although he is over 80 years of age, he has the sheer determination and mindset that would put some 30 year olds to shame.

He was not in the best of health, yet he 'hid his pain' to save us from immense anxiety throughout the journey and hectic activities in preparation for the 'big day'. Truth be told, Allah is kind and 'revealed gram's little secret', causing 'shock waves' from Trengganu to Singapore!

Throughout the ordeal of accompanying him back to SG and straight to Changi General Hospital ICU ward then normal ward, I realised the love he has for his kids and the resilience only those pre war era would have. This incident not only brought me closer to grams, it also brought me closer to Allah.

Now grams wants me to stay with him and grandma for good and I am torn between my own immediate family (not to mention my cat) and grams... I have yet to give him my answer. No matter what, there is nothing like being in the comforts of your own home... I miss my cat and my bedroom back in Simei. I missed checking my emails, surfing the net and having a tv set I can call my own.

I have yet to discuss this with mum... Meanwhile, happy birthday mum!

"When things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts.

We usually will get what we wanted, just not in the way we had imagined as we don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

May your days be blessed and may God cradle you in the palm of His hand... "

Which Path?...

The Path (returning to the forgotten path)

The struggle to keep our hearts pure lies to how much we look forward to the Day of Reckoning, preparing ourselves in anxiety and gracing ourselves with as much humility we can carry, like a needy peasant summoned to a Bounteous King.

Looking forward to The Distinguished Meeting is what keeps us going, knowing that with every step taken towards it, there can only be either right or wrong. What determines this is what our hearts intend.

Our hearts are inclined to purity, desiring good for every step we proceed. But alas, we distract ourselves with the temporary splendours along the path and fail to keep in track, even with the maps that serve to assist us. Hence, we taint our primitive inclinations, falling into misguidance.

The determinded traveller is the one who has his destination in vision and as he voyages through the winding paths, continuously humming in ethusiasm and good spirit, chanting the Name that serves as a fuel, as the goal he longs to reach, the home he longs to return to.

True devotion is for itself: not to desire heaven nor to fear hell. - Rabia el-Adawia

The end of knowledge is that man comes to the point where he was at the origin. - Shaykh Abu Yazid al-Bistami